Coffee House Blues (Formerly Self-Preservation)

What would you like today?
I want a perfect body,
With a side of wittiness à la sarcasm.
I want Einstein’s brain
And Shakespeare’s words.
I want to solve the mystery 
Of the chicken or the egg,
While already knowing 
The meaning of life.
Is that selfish?
I want peace on Earth,
The end of all suffering,
And for the growth of brilliant minds
To not be stunted by the price of college. 
And I really want Plankton to get the crabby patty recipe.
Venti French Vanilla Ice Coffee, please.

Milk and sugar?
The glossed-paper girls are screaming at me 
“Your worth is the sum of all your parts.”
Your weight plus your height
Multiplied by the number of good hair days
And divided by the number of heartbreaks.
We self-destruct for greatness and power. 
But greatness is an illusion
And we are to power
What the waves are to the shore;
No matter how passionately the waves embrace the shore,
They are still pushed back, 
Leaving the sand immaculate 
As if their kiss never happened.
Soy milk, extra sugar